When patients die relatives and healthcare professionals may appreciate the quality of the dying phase differently, but comparisons are rare. In a cross-sectional study (June 2009–July 2012) the experiences of bereaved relatives, physicians, and nurses concerning the quality of dying in a large Dutch university hospital were compared, and the relation to communication was explored. Measurements were concordance on the quality of dying (QOD) (0–10 scale), awareness of impending death, and end-of-life communication. Results. Data on all three perspectives were available for 200 patients. Concordance in general was poor. Relatives’ scores for QOD (median 7; IQR 5–8) were lower than physicians and nurses’ (both median 7; IQR 6–8) (P =0,002). 48% of the relatives, 77% of the physicians, and 73% of the nurses had been aware of impending death. Physicians more often reported to have informed patients and relatives of end-of-life issues than relatives reported. When both physicians and relatives reported about such discussion, relatives’ awareness of impending death and presence at the patient’s deathbed were more likely. Conclusion. Relatives, physicians, and nurses seem to have their “own truth” about the dying phase. Professionals should put more emphasis on the collaboration with relatives and on verification of relative’s understanding.